(This was written my first year)

This is my first Mother’s Day I will hear no song and I love you Mother from Dustin. The pain it brings as this day grows near and how to put aside to enjoy the love I have for Tiffany and my Mom. My birthday I had to avoid most of the day which was so unfair when Tiffany calls to wish me a Happy Birthday this pain is not fair to her and I do not know how to fix it. Why should I have to ask her to understand I am her mother too. How does one separate the pain in ones heart of the loss of one child so it will not take away from the precious one you still have here on earth. Is it the first year that will be like this or every year to come. I so want to be able to separate the 2 because so unfair to my daughter I feel. She said she understood on my birthday but why should she have to understand. When I say this it reminds me of earlier years my mom telling me you are the grown up so act like it.  Yes I am the grown up but my heart doesn’t feel like it. My daughter and grandson or the loves of my life and I do not want to take away from them in anyway so how does a mom that has lost one child deal with it separately from the loves she has for the one here on earth. (This was written my first year)

2010 Mother’s Day

 Two and a Half Years later I still miss and love Dustin more than I can say. But I have also realized in my Heart I have a daughter that needs me. And she back on the same page. This year I have grown in many ways on this journey but along ways to go. But with all the wonderful Moms I have met along the way I know I will be okay.

Love and hugs!Patti